Lessons Learned.....so far

Closing in on my first month here, there are quite a few things I've noticed that, while the norm, still make me stop and go "hm".

Observation #1: PDA is not acceptable. This comes at the high price of my favorite TV shows and movies jumping around to edit even any PG kissing scenes. When I head to the malls, there is specific signage, right alongside "No smoking", that reads "No overt displays of affection". Two male security guards holding hands is A-OK, but Will Smith planting a smacker on Eva Medes draws the line. Thanks for not touching Sons of Anarchy's cussing like sailors (no offense to any sailors out there).

Observation #2: Wear a short skirt or sleeveless top and be prepared to be stared at like Pope driving by in his sweet ride. Granted, skintight anything on anyone is no problemo. Call me old fashioned, but I would rather see a little shoulder than some people with all the rolls and wobbly bits hanging out. Ladies of the UAE - I'm watching. And judging, of course.

Observation #3: Ever wondered what the rush would be like to play chicken across a freeway? Well, come on down. Random men running across the freeway has been commonplace on my journeys to Dubai and Al Ain, and no one bats an eye. Sure I flinch everytime I see this, but as God as my witness, I have not seen any human roadkill, which begs the question - Americans, are we being out machoed? Seriously, kids don't try this at home.

Observation #4: Fast-food delivery. Oh yeah, it exists. Because eating junk food and being lazy was just not enough these days. You need it brought to your door and NOW. Sure, there's the standard pizza and Thai fare but Im talking about Burger King, McDonald's, and KFC. Give me a fast-food chain and I'll find the number to call. I thought I had hit the jackpot in NYC when I found out BB&B and TJs delivered. Clearly, I was mistaken. Who's ready to send me $5 so I can photo document fast-food at it's finest and be able to scoff while doing my best Martha's Vineyard accent, coyly remarking "Muffy, dahling, drivethrus are so last decade"?